OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Boobs speak an international language.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
