I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
