I think my vagina is haunted
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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