I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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