Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
