I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
