Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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