Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
