he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
