I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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