Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
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I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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