dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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