you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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