im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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