Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
