Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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