I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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