I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
