What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
