My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
