Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize