So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
