I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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