He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
