Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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