take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize