garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
