I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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