no, he came in my armpit
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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