i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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