we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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