:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
