fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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