some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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