is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
