Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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