2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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