I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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