When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize