Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She's like a pop up book from hell.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
