There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
should my penis look like a turkey
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
