Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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