I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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