So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
