Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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