last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
