seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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