I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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