Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
