I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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