i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize