That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
