Dual....:-)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
