ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
