he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
