So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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