Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize