I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
