I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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