I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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