She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
