Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
