just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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