I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
