well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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