we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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