Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
