You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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