Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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