i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
